The Morning Upgrade Podcast with Ryan Cote

#37 - How to Build Rapport with Jay Jay

April 18, 2021 Ryan Cote Episode 37
The Morning Upgrade Podcast with Ryan Cote
#37 - How to Build Rapport with Jay Jay
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode of the Morning Upgrade podcast I talk with Jay Jay about building rapport, changing your career path, the importance of sleep and much more. 

Ryan  

Hey guys, it's Ryan real quick. So my mission with the morning upgrade blog and podcast is to raise the awareness of morning routines and personal development. And I now have two products that are also helped me with this mission. The first product helps you start a 20 minute morning routine. And the second product is a book that outlines how to use personal development, upgrade your life and business. You can get full details on both products over at morning upgrade.com. Thanks for letting me share. And now on to the show.


Announcer 

Welcome to the Morning upgrade podcast with Ryan cote where we feature casual conversations with entrepreneurs about personal development and growth.


Ryan 

Hey, everyone, this is Ryan cote with the morning upgrade podcast. And today I'm excited to be speaking with Jay Jay. What's up, Jay?


Jay Jay

What's up, Ryan? Everybody listening, we're going to give some energy. We're going to give some enthusiasm and we're going to give you something today, are you going to lead with something you know, I don't you hate it when you listen to someone online. And you get excited like a seminar, right? And then what happens? Right, three days later, you're back at square one. We don't want I don't want you to do that today. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to give you something you can tangibly take and implement today.


Ryan  

So that sounds great. Well, why don't you start by telling everyone what you do, who you are what you enjoy doing?


Jay Jay  

Yeah, so listen, 16 years ago, I wanted to do two things, right? I wanted to I'm from Australia, that's the accent if anyone's curious. It's not London, it's not New Zealand is Australian. I want to do two things. I wanted to tell the world who I am what I do. And I wanted to stand on stage and do it and so forth. 16 years later, I'm 32. I live here in LA, I've been able to speak and share my message and my journey in 30 countries. When I'm done that, from everything from being a magician, that sort of magician I was a TV host. I was a speaker and now I run a PR and digital agency helping entrepreneurs get attention and get influence. Because as you know, Ryan and everybody listening doesn't matter how great you are. No one can see or hear you. What's the point? So that's the 32nd This is who I am. This is what I do. And this is how we're going to help you today.


Ryan 

What about your interests? What do you do for fun?



Jay Jay  

You know what, what I do for fun on the travel, I'm a wanderlust kind of guy, you know so for me people that people are everything to me, people my passion and purpose. So it's like, I love to get to know what drives people. I'm very fascinated by psychology, by how people make decisions. I think that's why I was a magician as well. Something is fascinating about being a magician, being able to figure out a puzzle and then be able to share that with people. So I would say people are my hobby and, you know, what makes me come alive.


Ryan

Would you say the work you did as a magician? So you're, you're on a digital agency now and pra did you do you think that the magician work you did help in terms of signing on your clients, when you're I guess though, you know, the word pitch for lack of a better word, as a major, better and sales.


Jay Jay  

Yeah, you know what, because and I never got trained in sales, per se, but because when I was you know, 16 years old, I had to leave school, right? To go get a and let it get a letter from the principal to go and work for let's say, McDonald's for a corporate event, I had to learn how to connect and build rapport with people double or triple my age. So when you doing that three to four days a week, for three to four years straight consecutively. You just have to learn how to be naturally good at making people like you and getting people to listen to you. After I understood a little bit about the business of people and customers and the whole agency model, then it's just like, tweaking what you're saying you're pitching and learning objections. But to what you asked me, yeah, you just naturally have to be good at it, because that's your job. Right?


Ryan 

I don't think we spoke about proper on the show. And you know, it's personal development, but it's also entrepreneurial entrepreneurship business, and I think reports a big part of that. Do you have any go twos for building rapport that is you know, really authentic and stuff, but like any report building tips, you can share?


Jay Jay  

It thanks for bringing this up. Because I had a conversation with a client this morning about this. You know, I feel like a lot of people in my opinion, see reporters the wrong way. They think about why I've got to try and make copy them or try and talk like they talk or have to fall moms or they fall my arms. No, it's not like that. It's all about, you know, hey, people know, authenticity. They know genuineness, right. So some of the ways to build rapport are to do some things that just naturally people know, like, if you can find a way to compliment someone, right? Make them like you, right? If you can find a way to give them some kind of compliment, which is and they're going to feel genuine with that, right? They're going to open up and you're going to be able to connect with them a little bit better. Right? If there's something they've said if you can naturally connect with them on what they've said because you're an active listener and comment something back now you're building rapport as well, but one thing I don’t do Ryan is trying and move match myself to them. Because I think that's going to connect better what that comes across as fake, it comes across as real. And everybody listening right now and I treat everybody listening right now who you know everyone's a professional and entrepreneur and you're successful guide slash successful guys. It's like, the one thing that people hate. I am like betta like that he's not real. Like it just seems fake. Being okay with just feeling the vibe of the person. And if there's a way to build connections with him great. And if not, don't worry about it.


Ryan  

Yeah, that's really good advice. All right, Jay Jay, why don't we talk about what is your morning routine look like? How do you start every day for the best headstart for your day?


Jay Jay  

Well, I'll tell you what I don't do. I don't get up at 4 am. Like we get told the stops for. I live in LA and I work with entertainment. I work in the entertainment business. And I don't know if anyone's listening right now, for some reason, we get told you got to get up at 4 am to maximize your whole day. I think there are elements of the truth of getting up earlier. But I think for me, I'm a 7 am riser that just works well for me. Right? Because I'm also I like staying up a little bit lighter than most but I like getting up. You know, I'm big on movement. Ryan. I'm big on and I say movement and not the gym. Because just going for a walk or doing even some star jumps or just getting your head a little bit clearer is important for me. So I'll wake up. I have a double espresso. I'll hit some movement hit the gym, come back. Sorry before it while I'm having my espresso I do I write my goals and I don't make it a lot simple. My targets, right. And then I'll hit the gym and then you know, go home, dress to dress for success, and then hit the day.


Ryan  

Yeah, as you mentioned walking I feel like that's a secret weapon everyone kind of it's nothing sexy. But I think it's I think it is a secret weapon. I do the same thing I like walking around my block here. I listen to Audible or podcasts or sometimes nothing at all. And just go for a walk by myself for 45 minutes to an hour taken all the churn that’s around me, I think that sort of meditative time to yourself with solitude. And then just, if I'm plugging into like, some sort of audible program, it's, it's learning to I think, I think it's something that everyone needs to consider a guide dimension that, yeah, so let's go back to entrepreneurship. I'm gonna let you choose which way you answer this in your business. Hardest thing? And what are you doing about it? or what have you had the most success with challenger success, you can pick which path you go.


Jay Jay 

The hardest thing would be to still try to figure this out, like find out where I best come alive. You know, where, where we're on best. to, to, to serve. You know, the I've been a person that has, you know, to bring it back not to facts, the stories and maybe John Mayer said this thing. He said, I just woke up one day and wanted to play guitar, and write songs. That's it. No marketing, no Facebook, no business, I just wanted to do that from like, when I can remember. And for me, that wasn't the case, they struggled for a long time trying to figure out, where I was meant to come alive and for my whole life, so I had to try many different things. So the hardest thing for me was just figuring out like, what I'm meant to do, you know, but be okay, of letting go to a lot of entrepreneurs, they're afraid to let go. And especially throughout this time, I'm creating this throughout this, you know, crazy pandemic, you know, a lot of people have done things their whole life, you know, like, let's see, if you own a restaurant. I live in LA, this is an Italian restaurant down the road. And this guy's been there for like, you know, 40 years. And literally, he had to close up shop. And I spoke to him and he's like, I go to do something else. And, and as cool as I could be, I'm like, you know, I'm like, Hey, it's okay. You know, you have to learn to let go. So, to your question, you know, it was the hardest thing was just being okay with, like, realizing that maybe that's not the path for me, and having to re pivot to do something different.


Ryan 

I think a lot of people struggle with that. That's like, you know, what's the meaning of life? And people think about, like, what, what fulfills me? I think that's something that I think everyone listening can resonate with. And is that what brought you from TV to the agency world?


Jay Jay  

Yeah, man. Yeah. Right. Like, if you said to me five years ago that you're going to run a PR and digital agency. I've like, You're crazy. I don't want to be that guy. Like, but then who would have thought someone would have said to me like, Hey, I was going to run a nightclub, you know, in Asia when I was 15 years old. Like it sounded cool. It sounds cool, but I didn't think I'd have that role. So yeah, you know, I've just learned that when I hit the successes, a magician, right, and when I say success, I have to press on that word. Because on paper, you know, I have 50 million views, disarray at the time, I had 30 million views. On YouTube, I got offered a Vegas show, I worked on television, I was getting paid $5,000 in performance to stand on stage and do my act, I was recognized by the biggest and the best, like on paper. Right? Right. That's, you know, you would call that success, in my opinion, right? But I wasn't fulfilled man, I was like, this is not is this it? Like, I was like, this cannot be it. Like, I'm like, I don't, I'm bored. And it sounds I hate using that word. But like, I wasn't, it wasn't exciting for me anymore. So, you know, realizing, having to Okay, having to try something else, and then figure out what makes me come alive? Well, you know, and what do I know? You know, I mean, like, what do I enjoy doing? You know, what do I actually what kind of wake up every day because I know some people don't have this idea, but like, to me to be able to put in the hours I want to do and push through a lot of that just, I call it the crap that you have to deal with, with objections and people and just stuff. There’s got to be some kind of enjoyment because I just feel like you're not going to get it we just give up. You know, so So coming back to your question. I feel like yeah, like, I've had to learn how to just move in a way where I can best come alive into a field that I know people also need help with, like that they people need help with their social media, they need to get attention and influence. So yeah, that's where I'm at today.


Ryan 

I work with my brothers, my uncle, and our team at an agency as well. We do direct mail and digital marketing, not PR, not as much social media, either. Something you said kind of triggered a thought to me, you mentioned like, kind of dealing with the hard things as part of the agency world. But I want to take this, I want to take this to a mindset like how do you deal with, like, so you have clients, we have clients? Sometimes clients aren't happy, there's conflict? How do you deal with conflict like that, in terms of your mindset? Do you tackle it head-on? Do you avoid it? Do you like what? What's your approach to it? I'm just curious to see what your thoughts are.


Jay Jay  

Thanks for asking. And thanks for bringing this up. Because I have to deal with this a lot. Because there's a lot of Miss. When people buy a service of mine, they have an idea of, what's going to happen after that service is completed, right? So PR, they get into Forbes, and they think, Well, you know, having me in Forbes will give me this, even if I tell them like you we're not going to become you're not going to turn that into sales, or that can be in the contract that community, they just they forget, you know. So a lot of times, I don't jump into something straight away, if I like to give it just may be a day, as you know, Ryan, you know, emotions can pull you to places where you don't want them to. So when something happens like that, I've always loved this. And I hope I don't golf like a topic a little bit. But I realized, once again, like, unless it's urgent, right at that second, like most 95% of the problems, like it’s not like anything’s going to change in an hour, right, or three, or five, you know, so like, if it's something like that, I'll try and sleep on it. Because I find that, and I'm sure you can understand this, like if when I make a decision late in the afternoon, or I'm thinking of like a problem. And I'm a little bit more, obviously a bit more tired, you know, going through a lot of stuff. Like if it's a decision where I need to go speak with a client, I'd rather do it with a fresh brain, a fresh mind. And this helped me a lot. So like, I'll get up, I'll do the gym. I'll be like the first thought after I have my shower in the morning. It's like, and then I'll tackle that problem. It saves me a lot of how I've dealt with something.


Ryan  

I think that advice applies to any issue you have. I like to I like the idea, of tackling it first thing because you're right, you've got your brain is the strongest in the morning most creative. I've read at least that your willpower and your ability to make strong decisions declines as the day goes on. Which makes sense, right? Right. So yeah, tackling the hard stuff in the morning is good advice for any type of problem that people are dealing with.


Jay Jay  

Yeah, and a lot of times to run as well, like a lot of its, we may not know the full intense problem, like I'm sure you've had this with clients, you know, sometimes they may be saying that this is they're not happy with the service, but maybe they're not happy with something else. But you're the reason why it's exploded. So having that ability to be able to you once again, understand people as well has helped me deal with the situation where a lot of the times it could just be like, Hey, you signed this agreement, you knew what you're getting. See you later, I have a bit more of a heart. So I sometimes go okay, where are they coming from with this? Like, What didn't I do? Usually, times like, what did I do? Right? Did I not explain something right to them? Was that okay, I need to learn from that next time.


Ryan 

I'm glad we spoke about that. I haven't had many agencies, people from the agency world on so that's you know, once you start talking about that, I was like I have to bring that up. Because it is tied to mindset and I think it's something that everyone needs to think about. Because comp conflict is just part of life. There's no reason to run away from it and Let's talk about one more question for you, JJ, then we wrap up by you telling everyone how they can connect with you. They want to learn more. So you've got a lot of energy for a successful career across different industries. Let's talk about habits. What are your go-to habits so you can share with us and then we'll wrap up with you sharing your contact information.


Jay Jay  

So, yeah, Ryan, in regards to my habits, you know, for me, it comes down to a lot of just like the core things that I need to do every day that I know that I'm going to win. And when I say winning, winning for me is like, progressing forward, you know? So the big thing for me is always making sure that like, Hey, am I keeping my mindset in check? You know, I feel like a lot of times entrepreneurs that they run, if you're, if you don't have control of this bad boy up the top here, right, it can run you differently. So is my mindset in check? So for example, habits, like making sure I have the water around, like, just the simple things that people forget, like I drink alkaline water, I drink three liters a day, but it helps me. I make sure I have good food in my body, whilst the habits of like preparing my food, preparing my day so that I'm not going I'm hungry right now. Right? What do I eat, and then obviously, something bad, and I feel terrible for the rest of the day. Like other things where I'm like, making sure I'm speaking to people like telling people who I am, what I do, and how I can help them you know, and having those conversations so the habits of just keeping my body and keeping my mind in check that I know I'm going to operate the level that I want is like crucial for me.


Ryan  

Connection, healthy mindset. It's a great way to end this in the show. Well, I appreciate this JJ great talking with you. What's the best way that people connect with you if they want to learn more?


Jay Jay  

Yeah, sure. Sure, guys. So look, once again, guys, you know, you're listening to this right now you're doing your thing you're putting the work in absolutely love that. But you guys are gonna be seen. It's as we all know, it's not the best. It's the best marketed, you know, so who's seeing you every day. So if you want someone in your corner to help get you from the shadows to the spotlight, as I say, just hit me up on Instagram at JayJaylive or check me out on the web at Ace of Spades Agency. That's just how it's spelled, AceofSpadesagency.com.


Ryan  

Awesome. Thanks.


Jay Jay  

Appreciate it. Thanks, man.


Ryan  

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