#132 - Mind Showers with Blaine Oelkers

In this episode of the Morning Upgrade podcast I talk with Blaine Oelkers about his morning routine, podcasting for business growth, mind showers, creating new habits  and more.

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Announcer  

Hey, welcome to the Morning Upgrade podcast with Ryan Cote, where we feature casual conversations with entrepreneurs about personal development and growth.

Ryan

Blaine, welcome to the Morning Upgrade podcast. How's your day going?

Blaine  

Hey, Ryan, my day is going much better. Now that I'm on your podcast, ready to share with some of the listeners talk about the morning upgrades that I've maybe made over the last few decades. But excited to be here and want to just thank you for having me on. And thank you for putting this stuff together and putting it out there for people touching lives. I'll even say this, you're probably touching lives, not yet born somebody. They're not even born yet. 20 years, 30 years from now they're gonna find these podcasts, upgrade that morning routine, and you're gonna play a little bit of a difference in their life. So looking forward to being a part of that.

Ryan  

Thanks for saying that you love your energy and love the way you started that out. Why don't we tell everyone who you are, who you are, what you do for a living? And then give us something you're grateful for?

Blaine  

Yeah, so my name is Blaine Oelkers. I am originally from New Jersey, where Ryan is. And then I moved out to Arizona, and I am currently I am America's only chief results officer. So basically, I help business owners kind of get results on a very consistent basis. And I was doing that for mastermind groups. And this one guy said, you know, you're like our chief results officer. I'm like, Hey, I like that. And so I took that title, I went to the US Patent and Trademark Office got the registered trademark the R with a circle so that that's where I can say I'm the only one legally being able to do that. But I help people take control of their lives by taking control of themselves something I call cell fluids. So in 2009, I started a company called self fluence. And it's kind of like the art and science of influencing yourself or like to say is the power, you already have to influence yourself, you don't need anything new, you already know how to do it, that little three-pound gray matter tool on the top of your head. That's all you need to do it. And so I've been doing that I love to do it. I feel like that's why I'm on the planet, and happy to help people with what I kind of called Personal implementation, getting the things done, you know, you should get done. And that's what I've been doing. And I've been able to do it from home now for 27 years. So it's been great.

Ryan

What are you grateful for?

Blaine  

Right now, let's see at the moment, on a business side, I'm really grateful for this company that introduced us called pod match. And so I made a bunch of friends this year. I've been on a lot of podcasts this year. And currently, I'm number one out of their 14,000. Members. I'm number one on the guessing side. So on their leadership board, I'm number one. So I'm grateful for that I'm grateful for all the doors that that pod match did open for me.

Ryan  

Well, some of our business. So is that you are one of your number one way of growing your business as being a guest on other people's podcasts.

Blaine  

It started out as I just wanted to become a better kind of speaker. think on my feet, and get myself out online. But in the end, it did turn out to be a way to get speaking engagements and get new clients. But that wasn't kind of my primary goal. So basically, at the start of this year, I'd only been on a podcast for my entire life. And I said, You know what, I want to be on 52 podcasts this year, one a week. And how can I do that? So I went, I have a big LinkedIn following group. So I went there. And then I also joined the pod match. And today, it's near the end of the year, but I've been a guest on over 100 podcasts this year. So it's been a phenomenal way to like to meet people and craft my ability to kind of think on my feet and answer Ryan's questions. But it's been great. And yes, it has led to business. But that wasn't my primary thing.

Ryan  

Yeah, I'll second. So for the business owners listening, you know, when you're on a podcast, of course, it's fine-tuning your speaking skills, like playing said, and it's giving you you know, access to that audience, the people that are listening to it, so you never know what opportunities that will create its content you can share on social media, like LinkedIn, for example. But also, typically, like when this episode comes out for Blaine, I'll create a show notes page, and I'll recap the conversation. And then I'll link to his website. And that link helps with search engine optimization. So podcasting while it does take time and effort, you know, booking and speaking and all that checks a lot of the boxes when it comes to marketing your business. So just want to mention that for the entrepreneurs listening.

Blaine  

I think that's so true. And the other thing is, it gives you this side benefit of clarity, meaning like as you talk about who you are, what you do, and all that stuff, you gain some clarity, you know, on who you are, why you're here, what you're doing, who you serve. And so that's the other that was another kind of side benefit I wasn't thinking about, but as I started to do more and more in podcasts, how to organize my thoughts and things like that, I gain more clarity about my business.

Ryan  

Yeah, absolutely. I'm glad we're going in this direction. So don't be on the business front. I don't think we've talked about it. But let's go to personal development. Now. I want to talk about habits because you have something really interesting called a framework called 21 Second Habits so You've piqued my interest. So I will ask about that. But let's start with your morning. How do you start your days?

Blaine  

Yeah, so I start my day, I call it the morning sacred 30. I also like an evening sacred 30 minutes as well, but I'm not as good at that if I'm honest. I'm not as good at the evening routine as I am in the morning. But yeah, I like to really set up my day and actually, this habit of I do this Bible app, and then I do a mind shower. In the morning, every morning, I do a mind turn, I realize like I took a physical I take a shower every day. Well, so So why the heck am I not washing my mind out? Right, I got a lot of head trash, social media, news media, the economy, you know, friends and family don't understand why I'm working from home for 27 years, all these different things, you know, so I wanted to wash that out. So I've had those habits now that I've done every morning for 1727 days in a row. Because those apps track you know that I did the Bible thing I did my mind shower. So that's how I kind of start my day with those. And I do like exercise in the morning. I like to have some fruit, something really kind of healthy to eat. And then I have this in my iPhone, I have this list of 50 things I could do. Now I know some people like are creatures of habit. So I do those things every day, but I like variety. So I have this list in my iPhone, you know, so that as I'm going through the 30 minutes there, or maybe I'm even writing the peloton bike, I'll go through that list, and I'll pick something out. You know, some other thing, you know, from that list, which could be reached out to an old friend, make a type of three things I'm grateful for. So you know, think about the past and find three wins from the last 24 hours. Anyway, I have a lot of a big list of things to do. But that's how I start my day.

Ryan  

That's cool. I haven't heard that mentioned before, having a list of things to pull from and just adding variety to your morning routine. That's really interesting. So how long is your morning routine take from start to finish?

Blaine  

Well, I mean, I like 30 minutes every day for sure. If I don't have 30 minutes, instead of bailing on it, I'll just kind of do what I call nano size it, so I'll make it a lot smaller. Like like my morning, my mind shower, I love a 10-minute mind shower, I use an app called Headspace for that. Also, sometimes use an app called Calm. There's another app called Insight Timer, like do with other people. As a Christian, one calls to buy anyway, there are a lot of different apps there. But I love a 10-minute mind chart. But if I don't have time, and I don't skip it, I'll just do like a two or three-minute one, right? So instead of skipping it, I'll make it shorter. But typically, for me, it's 30 minutes.

Ryan

So the mind showers meditation, Greg,

Blaine  

yeah, the mind shower, there are a bunch of different ways you can do that. And I wrote some articles about it. But yeah, part of the mind shower, you can use an app like Headspace, right? It's like a meditation app, right? Deep breathing kind of clear your mind out as well. And so my practice for the mind shower includes that. But then also it includes, for me, kind of making sure that I'm looking through the right lens at the day ahead. So I kind of like I predetermined, you know, these are going to be my two wins for the day, when I really make sure that I'm looking for the right stuff. Like I really want to set my intention right for the day, as well as the kind of take out the garbage from yesterday.

Ryan  

Yeah, so something new I've been trying. So first of all, comm that's the app I use, I was using Insight Timer. Now I'm trying to calm down. I'm actually in the process of updating my site in my book because I mentioned specific products, but I'm realizing that I like to tinker a lot. And so I just need to stop mentioning specific things. So I don't think about updating, but I'm doing COMM, And it's they have this daily 10-minute routine. I love it. It's like I do it right when I first get up. And it's there's a life lesson weaved into it. I've mentioned it a few times as a podcast, but it's not free. But you know, it's reasonably priced, and it's a good investment in yourself. And then the other thing I've been trying to do lately is like the second I get up, like my eyeballs are open. And I'm training myself to do this. And I'm pretty much there, right? Think of it right away. I think of just things I'm grateful for, and I write down in my journaling things I'm grateful for. But I want it I'm trying to make a habit of the minute I wake my wake up, wake up, I'm thinking about things. I'm grateful for just kind of a stream of consciousness, just whatever comes to mind, really focused on that. And, like, start my day with those feelings. And I'm kind of getting hooked on it. Be honest.

Blaine  

Nice. That's, yeah, I love comedy. You know, it's got great visuals inside that app we just talked about, like that thing, you first wake up, so you did kind of open the door towards the 21-second habits and your concept of the 21-second habits and how to create new habits. 21 seconds, not 21 days. If somebody tells you it takes 21 days, they lie to you. Now I will say, like, neurologically, neurologically a new habit begins to form in about 21 days. But now brain science shows it takes 63 days for it to be kind of wired and be able to stand on its own without you really having to kind of think about it too much. But anyway, we're gonna hack through all that. So you can do it in 21 seconds. But the thing I want people to realize is you're already a habit master don't think you're not don't think you can't do it. Like I said, self fluence. We're powered by cell fluency, which is the fact that everything you need is within reach, you're already doing it, and you could master it. So back to habits. You know, a lot of times, people will say, I'm no good at habits. I said, Okay, Have you brushed your teeth in the last 24 hours? And everybody said yes, I said, How long have you been brushing your teeth? decades? Okay, you know how to create habits. You're your habit master. So now let's let's parlay some of that. So this example that you just gave was waking up. So I have these two habits that I've done for over 1700 days. The way I did it is I used this 21-second habit framework. And the first part of that is what I call habit linking. Right. And so this is where you link the new habit to an existing habit that you don't need any willpower for it happens automatically, right? So for me, when I wake up in the morning, what is the very first thing I do without fail have I opened my smartphone, my iPhone, without fail every morning? I've been doing that every morning. So what I did is I linked the opening on my phone to those two new habits, the Bible app and, you know, the mind shower. And what I did is I moved all the apps off the homepage on my iPhone, I just put those two apps there. So habit linking is the first thing, but the second part is you have to use something called urge surfing. So you need to serve some kind of urge. And that urge gives you the energy to quickly go do those new habits that you're trying to do. So in my case, why do I open my phone in the morning? Well, because I have text messages, my son lives in Denmark, text me during the middle of the night, I've got emails, I've got orders that come in, I want to know what's happening in the world. And I got social media, blah, blah, but I have so many things, I want to check what's going on. But I'm not allowed to touch any of those other buttons until I do those two items that I set. And so So, you want to have the linking part. And then you want the urge surfing, and then if you want to add the third part leverage meaning the carrot and the stick both work, right? So so you can give yourself a reward. If I do the habit for a week, or by the, uh, by Ryan's book, you know, something like that. Or you can have a penalty, right? If I don't do the habit anytime this week, then my wife gets to give me one chore that she hates to do that now I have to do it, right, something like that, that that is good. And the last part of the leverage is if you get a streak of three or four days in a row, psychologically, psychologically, that helps you keep the habit but anyway, habit linking, you can like there are so many things you do like you said waking up, you could link the gratitude, right? When you wake up, right? You know, now it's good to have some kind of a cue maybe to help you remember that, that thing? So for me, the opening of my phone there, I see the two apps, the only apps on the home page, I see them, you know, I know that I have to do them. So does that make sense?

Ryan  

It does, and where did you come up with is it just through your own personal experimentation?

Blaine  

You know, it actually was now some people have different pieces of it, you know, but putting it all together with the linking the urge surfing and the leverage was it was me watching my wife. She was she had she used to have daily migraine headaches, nearly daily migraine headaches, and she could never fill out this log this headache law. And she filled out for a day that she'd lose it. She couldn't go for two or three days, and she stopped doing it. And then, one day, I was watching her brush her teeth. I said Honey, put the headache log under the toothbrush my wife is the dentist and recommends two minutes in the morning to at night. I said now you got four minutes a day. Just log in while you're brushing your teeth. And she went 90 days in a row without missing a day in that log. And now she has a migraine once every couple of months. That's when I kind of discovered the habit linking. And then I started linking all kinds of things. I do daily things, I do weekly things, I do monthly, and where there's no willpower required, right? I was coaching someone the other day. And she's like Blaine, I never make a plan for the day. I go, and you got to make a plan for the day. That's like one of the most important things, and I said what do you do first thing in the morning, no willpower is required. She goes, I have a cup of coffee. I said that's perfect. Put a pad of paper and a pen by the coffeemaker. I want you to make the coffee, smell the coffee, but you can't sip the coffee until you start the daily plan. Right, so now she's got the habit linking she doesn't have to think about it. The coffee is going to happen every day. And that she's got the urge to want to drink the coffee to push her to start the plan. And then she gets leverage on herself after a few days of doing that so

Ryan  

so you're 20 is 2021 second habit because it's you're basically piggybacking onto an already existing habit. So it's not like you're starting something fresh here. You've got something you're already doing, like in my case I'm waking up and so I'm piggybacking on that. And that's why it's such a quick thing is that the idea behind

Blaine  

Yeah, you know, it's so it's the linking, right the habit linking to something you already haven't mastered. But then the surfing the urge surfing to get you to do it, because you might be remembered about it, but you've got to have some kind of urge, or You won't stick with it, right? So so it's the habit linking the urge surfing and then the leverage on yourself and some, you know, carrots and sticks. Yeah, but anyway, yes, linking is key.

Ryan  

I guess my urge for the graduates I'm fully bought in, on the idea of a gratitude practice and the science behind it. But also, it makes me feel good. Like when I first get up, and I'm like, I get fresh spring chicken, wherever they say, and my mind is clear. And I start thinking about what I'm grateful for. It creates a happy feeling. And so maybe I'm getting this the urge, like, or the carrot and stick, whatever. I'm getting that feeling.

Blaine  

Yeah, another urge for you might be the fact that you're like a doer, you're a go-getter like you want to get up and physically get out of bed like you want to get your day going. But then you could say, You know what I can't, I'm not going to get out of bed until I do the gratitude. So you're surfing the urge to want to get out of bed, you know, start your day, you know, so So as people begin to play with this, the licking the urge surfing and the leverage, they have a fun time with it. And they create these new habits that they can keep for a long time.

Ryan  

It's stuff I love, I love toys, all my frameworks. We've talked about, you know, how you've been using podcasting to grow your business, we've talked about your morning routine. And I've got one last question for you, Blaine. We're gonna go into the meaning of life. Because I've been asked that question a lot lately, I find it really fascinating. And so I want to ask you that through your personal experiences through your lens, what is the meaning of life,

Blaine  

I think we're all here. And we're kind of designed to achieve personal goals, personal goals. And to me, that's what success is, is someone moving towards their personal goals, whatever that is, but for the meaning of life. I've studied people in the last few weeks of their life. And so this is where I kind of, I think, got the meat of the meaning of life. And they all say, Well, there's only two things they say that but the most important one that they say first is they say I wish I had more meaningful moments with the people that I love. Now, the people they love can be family, but they could also be friends. It could also be peers they worked with or teams they worked with at work, but memorable moments with the people you love. That's the juice of life. That's what people want the most, and I think that the meaning of your life is found in those meaningful moments with the people you love. And the only other thing they mentioned is they say I wish I had more impact. And when we dive deeper, like, what do you mean by that? They said I wish I was able to share what I learned in my life with more people. And so I think part of the meaning is, you know, service to many leads to greatness, and it's taking what you've learned in life, and sharing that back with other people. I think that's, you know, another key reason why we're here,

Ryan  

relationships and impact. Excellent, great way to end this conversation. Blaine, if someone wants to reach out to you to learn more about you, where should we send them?

Blaine  

The easiest place is just to blame tedx.com. So BL an inetdx.com. You can opt-in there I did a TEDx talk about a concept called white table what do you think about what you bring about you can get a copy of that and watch it, but then we'll be connected. So once you opt-in there, you'll get my articles. I do these things called Super Results days, but I'm happy to serve you in any way that I can. Thank you, Blaine. Great job today. Appreciate Thanks for having me on. I'll leave you with this bad news. The bad news is Time flies the good news. You're the pilot. So pilot Well, my friends pilot well.

Announcer  

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